It’s complicated

It’s been a little while since I have updated everyone.  I was reminded about the blog I started up a long time ago now and I have spent some time re-learning and writing myself some instructions on what to do with it.  I thought that rather than sharing crazy long posts on my personal fb I would put them onto my blog and I have worked through setting up a blog page on fb that I will share them on.  If you want to follow along this journey perhaps pop over there like the page and that way if there is something that touches you or your life you can share it more easily.  
I am not entirely sure why we are on this path but it is the one we as a family have found ourselves on for now.  I hope that by me sharing as much as I can (which most likely won’t be all the time because it takes an incredible amount of time and effort to put things together for me), that perhaps our journey will spark conversations, or even just give some insight to what things are like when “normal” is no longer your “normal”.  
 
Life for me is still quite complicated (actually complicated is an understatement.) I still have issues with my left side and significant issues with my memory, concentration, planning, as well as the depression and anxiety. 
 
I thought what I would do because I have had a few messages asking what it is like I would share in separate posts how each one of these things are affecting me and how these impact not only my daily life but also things for Andrew and the kids.  
 
From my daily readings of my diary and journals I simply cannot express enough thanks to all the many, many people who are helping us get through this time.  We are incredibly blessed with lots of love and support both emotionally (through messages, phone calls, cards, the little things that people do to let us know we are not alone.  But also the physical support and this has been invaluable especially the meals, lifts for me and the kids, the assistance getting the kids to school, the visits (tough as they may be for me) and everything else that I may have forgotten.  We simply could not have come this far without all of that.  Thank you doesn’t to me feel enough but they are the only words that I can find right now.  
 
Life for Andrew and the kids is ticking over as normally as possible, well this is what has become our new normal.  They go to school and work and activities and I go to rehab.  Rehab from my journal is hard work and according to my therapists, Drew and my parents I am improving at least physically, this is hard for me to judge given I don’t remember yesterday so I am not sure how far I have actually come, the most important thing is that there is improvement.  
 
That is really pretty much it.  I will do up posts about each symptom as to put them all in this would be too hard for me to organise things into a meaningful structure and it would be far too long for anyone to read.  Please know that I read all the replies and messages I get from you all, I often don’t answer because by the time I have organised my thoughts into something meaningful the moment is lost.  That is why this is good I can write my thoughts down and play with them until they make some sort of sense.  
 
Thank you all again especially Andrew, the kids, my parents, our wider families and of course our incredible friends we simply couldn’t do this without you.  
 
 xx   

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