Celebrate the ordinary

This is something I wrote YEARS ago when my kids were little and all three were at home with me every day. Those days are long gone, my son is in his 10th year at school and the girls are in their 6th year (that means Yr9 and Yr5 in NSW). I think that this still stands though. For those of you struggling with little ones at home, I promise those days will pass and there will even be times when you will miss having them at home. 

In a world where society celebrates success as the be all and end all of everything and the kids who aren’t the top of their game or the best in the class often get overlooked.  I think the same goes for parenting.  Recently I got to thinking that as parents we often celebrate how much our children can do and often forget how much effort this could require from parents.

Often we see other children and we benchmark our kids against them and think, I wish my child could … or I wish my child was better at … However what we forget is the incredible effort that is often required by parents to get our kids to this level.  Olympic champions are not simply born champions they have parents who have sacrificed countless hours of sleep to get them to training, forgone family holidays because they needed to get their child to yet another meet.  Brilliant scholars are the same often our children who are gifted and talented in academic areas or the arts (creative, dramatic, etc) require huge commitments from parents to keep their child entertained or at the very least challenged.  This is not to mention the financial burdens of having children who excel in one area or another.

Sometimes when we see “other people” doing these things with their children we can be overwhelmed with feelings of guilt that we are not or cannot provide our children with these same opportunities.  We as parents need to give ourselves a break!  We forget to celebrate all the things we do do for our children.  We provide them with safe, loving environments.  We clothe, feed and shelter them.  We provide them with all the things that they need to get through each day to be well-adjusted children.

We need to remember that even though our children may not be the biggest, best and brightest – they are and will always be ours.  At the end of the day the most important gift we can give to our children is for them to grow up knowing they are loved no matter who they are and what they can do.

We as parents also need to stop beating ourselves up if we can’t do everything our friends can with their kids, they may have different gifts to us.  My gift is certainly not in the area of craft with my kids, but when they are sick I can be the world’s best nurse, I can do vomit no worries at all.  The fact that I would prefer to stick needles in my eye than do finger painting or teach my children the alphabet does not make me a bad mother.

We all do the very, very best we can for our children within our gifts, abilities and financial constraints.  That is all that anyone can hope for.

  Some days I am just pleased to get my kids from wake up to bedtime and know that I have fed & watered them. I quite possibly have yelled at them but that is ok, we will have played a little, I might have read to them but I might also have more likely plopped them in front of the tv for a few minutes of quiet and I will most certainly have cuddled them.  I know I need to stop beating myself up for not doing craft or having the most immaculate house or Masterchef plating up skills (even their flops look better than my best most of the time!)  What I am sure of is that my kids know that I love them and even when I am cranky I am doing my best.  We cry together, I have said sorry to them and we create lots of memories in our home.

There is no doubt in the world that I wouldn’t love to have a perfect showroom home and perfectly coiffed hair, perfect makeup and awesome parenting skills, sadly though all of that has skipped my place.

Hugs to all the families out there, you are all amazing! It doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it as long as you do the best YOU can that is what counts.

Our kids won’t remember who taught them the alphabet or how they were born or fed when they are 25 but they will always remember who loved them!

images

Kit xoxo 

14 thoughts on “Celebrate the ordinary

  1. Kooky Chic says:

    I’ve read a few blogs lately where they have been reiterating that we all need to give ourselves a break. I think the more we read them the more it’s going to sink in. Great post x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Rachel @ Tweens2teen says:

    I love this life. Despite the mess, the yelling and arguing. I think we sometimes convince us that life was perfect before we had kids, but I doubt life is ever perfect. It’s just that when you are at home with them you think it should be. You are so right!

    Like

    • Kit@Life through the haze says:

      I know I think back to the time pre-kids and for me that was pre-marriage (we got married, fell pg and moved into our first home all in the space of 11mths!) and think of how perfect life was. The truth is life was simpler for me, I was single, I was living with my parents so I had a disposable income, I answered only to myself. So I think when we think about life pre-kids it isn’t that it was perfect but certainly simpler! I wouldn’t be without my three regardless of how hard it is my life with them is so much richer and I cannot imagine not having them xoxo

      Like

  3. Shauna 'Round the Corner says:

    Every time we celebrate one of my children’s birthdays I give myself a little pat on the back too! I think it’s a milestone worth celebrating just as much for the parents as it is for the child. You are dead right – parenting IS a tough gig. We are all just doing the best that we can. Love and laughter is far more important than having an immaculate home, good plating skills and oodles of craft. How I parent will be different to the next person and the next person but the one thing that the we all have in common? Unconditional love for our kids. And it sounds like you’ve nailed that one Kit.

    Your comment on my blog stung my eyes with tears today. Thank you. Though I was sad to hear of your struggle, you made my day because I’d connected with you in such a personal way. For me that’s one of the greatest rewards from this blogging malarkey.

    This is my first visit to your blog too and I think we might have a lot in common! I’m looking forward to reading more. x

    Like

    • Kit@Life through the haze says:

      Thanks so much for reading my ramblings Shauna. I hope with good not sad tears! I think I need to write up a bit of my back story, though I am always worried of exposing too much of me lol. Although I have on the cover pic on the FB page “Don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others” so perhaps I need to share more of what got me to here, not that I am really 100% sure of that, I know the major events and always thought that I was coping right up to the point when I wasn’t anymore. Anyway, I am rambling more now. I didn’t get a chance to explore your blog today. Kids, rain, washing, ironing, and many other frustrations got in the way! I will be glad when everyone heads to school and work tomorrow and I am home alone. Looking forward to getting to know you better through your writing xoxo

      Like

      • Shauna 'Round the Corner says:

        I think you should definitely write up your back story Kit. Even if only for yourself. Then worry about whether to share it. You might not be ready today, tomorrow or even 5 years from now. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned since I started blogging it is that you are what sets your blog apart from everyone else’s. There is only one you. Be true. It is something that I have struggled with also but my confidence is growing with every post. I for one would love to read your story but I know how frightening it can be and you really do need to be ready. Only you can make that judgement. x

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says:

    I think this is so important. They seems to be so much pressure on parents, and in turn, on children to achieve and be successful. I can’t help but think that everyone is missing the point, because it’s not how good you are at any given subject or how much you excel at sport that counts. Isn’t success about raising happy, healthy humans who know they are loved and respected and can love and respect others. What a wonderful world that would be!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. yinyangmother says:

    This resonated with me right now about our own role as parent’s in our children’s ‘success’ – our son is repeating Prep and I’ve been guilty that I’m not doing enough with him, even though we made the decision he needed to repeat – I should be doing more. But I can see that things are just starting to click, his reading his improving and even better, our almost 13 year old is turning a maturity corner – that feels good.

    Like

  6. mummywifeme says:

    The last line is spot on. I am a shocker for feeling guilty about not paying enough attention and not doing enough. You’re right though. I need to pay more attention to what I am doing and I’m sure once I have a think about it, it’s more than enough x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. bakeplaysmile says:

    I definitely need to live in the moment more. I feel like I’m always getting distracted or not focusing on one thing. Mind you, I have a 15 week old baby so some of that can totally be blamed on sleep deprivation… right!???

    Liked by 1 person

I'd love to hear from you if you'd like to comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s