Dependent no more

Mid February 2015, I had a spectacular physical and mental breakdown. This thrust me into the world of constant rehab to recover the functional movement in the left side of my body. In addition to that I also started rehab for my brain.

The other major impact that this had on my life was that instead of caring for everyone else and being the one that others depended on. I became the person that required caring for and I needed to depend on others for everything. For what I can work out this meant eating, drinking, showering, dressing, thinking, processing you name it I needed help with it. Continue reading

Who Am I? #SL1

This week I thought we could just leave it as an open introduction. 

My blog has slowly evolved over the last 18mths from a page where I was essentially journalling my recovery from a fairly spectacular breakdown for mostly friends (with the occasional family member who read it). Into something where I am using it for me. To get some of my demons out, to be a shameless truth teller. The truth is that I have been hiding  from my demons all my life which essentially helped me fall down the looking glass, so unless I am prepared to be honest and face up to those things as hard as they may be then all the therapy is really a pointless process.

45 years

Me age 18mths on the way to a wedding

So who am I? I am Catherine, I like to be called Cat or Cath but honestly I answer to any derivative of Catherine. I am the eldest child and only daughter to Jim & Sue. My Mum was only 17 when she married, my dad 24 (you join those dots!) My parents met in Canberra when Mum was working in the typing pool at Department of Defence and my Dad was a Corporal in the Army during his National Service time in 1970. By late September they were married and early May 1971 I had joined them. Dad was discharged from the Army just before I was born.   Continue reading

the day my brain and body disconnected

Eighteen months or so ago my mind decided enough was enough. For years and years and years I had hidden from myself and the rest of the world that there was a problem.

I didn’t really know what the problem was I guess I just thought it was normal the way I lived, the constant worry, my head always spinning out of control. Never believing in myself, constantly trying to be more, to do more, to be the hostess with the mostest in everything I did. Continue reading